The Last of My Heart
by kingmaker
Summary: Stray but a little... Galadriel thinks Celeborn is having an affair.


The Last of My Heart

or, What Drove You to Leave that which You Loved?: Why bookverse Celeborn did not pass into the west with his wife.

(A/N: In this fic Galadriel is characterized in essentially the same way she is in _Architect_ and _Dueling Club_ and, to a lesser extent, _Halls_, except that this is slightly more serious than the above works. Additionally, this takes place chronologically after _Dueling Club _and does make direct references thereto. I also threw in a treat for all those female fans who got mad at me for the way I treated Haldir in those other two Lorien fics.)

            It was over.

            No many how times she thought it, she couldn't make herself believe it. It was over. There was no other way. There was too much evidence for her to ignore. It was too great an offense for her not to act. And there was only one course of action she could take.

            It was over. And she began to cry. Not the tears of anger that had flowed earlier, but tears for the love she had lost, and the love she still felt.

            That would not do. She was Galadriel, Lady of Light, who survived the nightmarish crossing of the Helcaraxe and defied the Valar at the end of the age. Her strength and power were such that she was often accorded the misnomer 'Queen Galadriel.' She had gone through more difficulties than she cared to recall and had not cried through those, so why should she cry over this? Besides, tears tended to ruin any attempt to use the patented 'Elf Lady Death Stare,' which she had a feeling she would need when she confronted her hus... no, ex-husband. She willed herself to stop. One who had been through what she had survived did not cry. The bad things... and the good... No. This was not the time to fondly remember delightful nights in Doriath. She should be steeling herself by constantly remembering what she had seen and heard and try to discern how to tell him that it was over.

            Linde. She was- there was no way around it- beautiful. And intelligent. And witty. Loathe though Galadriel was to admit it, she probably would have liked Linde under a different set of circumstances. She was _definitely _something right out of the single elf male's fantasies (and Galadriel knew that for a certainty, having seen such things in the minds of several unattached citizens of Lorien). Why she had left Rivendell, Galadriel had never found out. Why her grandsons had let such a prize out of their grasp, she did not know. But Linde had come to Caras Galadhon not two weeks past, and she was fulfilling the fantasies of someone who had not been single for more than two ages.

            Galadriel had first noticed that something was afoot about a week ago, after she had been through a long and tiring day and needed some therapeutic nocturnal activity. Celeborn had simply not put his heart into anything they were doing. She had asked him what was wrong, but he'd just denied that anything was bothering him, which was odd in and of itself. They were usually so open with each other, even though he had been with her so long that he could hide all but his surface thoughts from her. On the occasions when he did something to vex her, he would just slip into that Non-Entity Mode of his for the days or weeks it took her to forgive him rather than fighting with her.

            That denial was so unlike him that she had turned her thought-reading capabilities in his direction. And what she had seen was not at all reassuring. Celeborn was thinking, not of her, but of Linde and... balloons. Galadriel was more than slightly worried that the first memory of balloons that came to her head was the time during the second age that Celeborn had suggested that they do something... different that night, using balloons. She had rejected his idea as adolescent, disgusting, and too kinky even for _her_ taste. Now she couldn't help but wonder if he still wanted to do such a thing and had found someone with which to do it.

            And that was just the beginning. "For the mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are, and some things... that have not yet come to pass." She couldn't tell into which category the visions she had seen recently fell, but it mattered not. Amidst fairly insignificant depictions of Curunir slaving over a fire with a lump of gold, an inexplicably short man running from an inexplicably short. thing, a scruffy-looking man sitting in a dark tavern, a white ship sailing into the sunset, and another inexplicably short man running from a BIG-ASS SPIDER!!!!!!! (which had, admittedly, distracted her from her worries by really freaking her out with unpleasant recollections of Ungoliant), among other things, Galadriel saw several disturbing incidents. Celeborn and Linde talking. Many times. Linde jumping up and embracing Celeborn. Celeborn smiling at Linde. Celeborn coming out of his Non-Entity Mode to speak with Linde. And Linde jumping out of a cake while Celeborn watched with an expression of delight and amusement.

            Galadriel had been disgusted and concerned. She loved her husband deeply, but this... Such betrayal was unlike him. He was always so strong and relaxed, an immovable rock amidst whatever tumult was going on around him. He had seen countless attractive young elves during their lives together in Doriath and Lorien, but he had always been so impassive. He almost never gave a girl a second look, and when he did he would shortly follow it by giving Galadriel that lecherous grin that indicated that neither of them should expect to get any sleep that night.

            Galadriel had not gotten much sleep after those visions, and she was distracted all day. She could not focus on any task, because her thought-reading capability kept scanning any nearby elves for word of her husband's activities. She kept finding people who were thinking about, laughing at, or considering ways to assist what Celeborn and Linde were doing. Whatever that was. And she had noticed that some elves having conversations would just stop and stare at her as she walked by, as though they had been talking about her. Did everyone have proof of something for which she had only suspicions? It had taken all her self control not to blast half the citizens of Caras Galadhon to the breaking of the world.

            But in spite of this mounting evidence, her anger with everyone else was tempered with denial regarding Celeborn. Her husband wouldn't have an affair. They had been married so long, loved each other so much, and done so many wonderful and delightful things together that there was no way he would leave her for a fling with another woman, even one so pretty as Linde. Would he?

            But he already had. There could be no question. The final straw of evidence had come less than an hour ago. Galadriel had been walking through the city when she heard low voices from behind a tree. She couldn't hear what was being said, but it sounded like Celeborn and Linde. Galadriel planned to casually walk around and see what they were talking about when Celeborn let out a hearty giggle. She knew that giggle. Celeborn only laughed like that when he was engaged in other nocturnal activities with her. Or drunk. Or, as was occasionally the case, both. Why would he make a sound previously reserved only for her ears? As if in answer, she saw her husband's hand moving around the edge of the tree, groping for a previously unnoticed bottle of Dorwinion as though he were not looking at it and completely distracted by something else. Galadriel had turned away, sickened, and fled to the mirror, where she remained, sitting, weeping, and trying to come to terms with the fact that her wonderful marriage was over.

            She had to stop crying. It was over. Her beloved husband, who had sworn to love her and, loving her, forsake all other such loves, was having an affair.

            It was over. There was nothing she could do. Again she willed herself to stop crying. It was over, and she must be strong.

            Through her drying tears, she almost laughed at herself. She knew it was over, but it would take time to end it in reality. If nothing else, it would be quite some time before the legal status of Lorien was settled. There was rather little in the way of elven legal precedent, and she knew that determining what happened to land ruled jointly by a lord and lady who were now separated would not be easy. And she didn't even want to think about having to divide their possessions. Such as those leopard print sheets that she had suffered through several days of sleep-disrupting thumps to obtain. One the one hand, they reminded her of many wonderful times (which, for the most part, also involved Celeborn). On the other hand, they reminded her of Celeborn, and she was not so sure that she wanted to remember that the only love of her life had betrayed her for some pretty young thing who was probably far younger than those obnoxious Ulairi.

            She sighed. It was over. Though it would not even begin to be really over until she confronted Celeborn. With a quick prayer to the Valar for strength, she steeled her will and headed back toward their flet. 

            Galadriel had not gone far when she very nearly ran into her husband. Before she could open her mouth, he addressed her in low tones. "Come with me. We need to talk." Her mind was abuzz. Was he going to confess? Would he try to tell her that none of it had happened, despite all the evidence to the contrary? Or did he have something completely different that he wanted to talk to her about? She stopped walking. She needed to know now.

            It was as though he had read her mind, though what he had to say was not especially pleasing. "No, not here. I don't want us overheard." She opened her mouth to protest. "There's no one around here at all, and you need to know that things are over after what you and Lin..."

            Celeborn cut her off as though he had missed the import of her aborted statement. "This is neither the time nor the place for that conversation. We have to get there before they burn the place down."

            "What the...?" Galadriel started, but Celeborn cut her off again. "Come quickly now."

            Galadriel's frustration began to turn again to anger as they walked back toward the center of the city. Why wasn't he willing to stand and face her now? Show some remorse, some guilt, or at least some acknowledgement of her accusation? But no, he just kept on walking, leaving her with little choice but to follow and hope that he would eventually just listen to her long enough that she could tell him that it was over.

            As they approached the clearing, Galadriel thought that she was beginning to feel the presence of other elves in the vicinity, but before she could examine their minds more closely Celeborn stopped. "Take my hand and close your eyes." When she eyed him dubiously, he added, "Trust me."

            Something snapped in Galadriel. All her strong will collapsed and her emotions came rushing out. "Trust you? Trust you! Why in the name of Mandos should I trust you? After being married for thousands of years, you go off and have a fling with some cute piece of..." She sputtered, realizing what she was about to say, and then realizing that she didn't care. What he was doing was far more obscene than any word she could say, so she flung it at him almost in defiance before he could interrupt her again. "... ass who wanders in from Imladris. The one thing, the one person I trusted when everything else was falling apart around me has betrayed me in the worst way possible. Why the Hall should I trust you?" Celeborn was not quailing before her like he normally did when she was this wrathful. Instead of trying to defend himself or withdrawing into the Non-Entity Mode, his face was an odd combination of confusion and amusement. It only fueled her anger, though said anger was melting into sad fury.

            "Why, my love? Why could you do that to me? It isn't fair. After all we've been through, when our time in Middle-earth is likely coming to a close, why did you have to jump on a new girl now? Why, Celeborn, damn it, why?" And she broke down sobbing in her hands.

            Celeborn tried to wrap his arms around her and comfort her, but she recoiled and looked up at his face. In his eyes, she saw not shock at being rejected, but pity mingled with overwhelming love. It was the same look he had given her when she told him that they would be staying in Middle-earth instead of going west at the end of the first age. "If you close your eyes and come with me, all will be explained." When she hesitated, he grew more irritable. "Oh for crying out loud! They can't wait all day for us, you know."

            What did that mean? Was he going to complete his betrayal by making it public? Would he humiliate her further by rejecting her in front of the crowd that was gathered in the clearing? But before she could give voice to any of these, she looked in his face. The love was now mixed with a plea. She didn't know why, but, for what she expected would be the last time, she closed her eyes and grabbed his hand.

            He led her a short distance, presumably into the clearing, and then told her to open her eyes. As she did, she heard voices all around her yell "Surprise!" She blinked as she took in her surroundings. What looked to be every elf in Caras Galadhon, plus a more than a few from outside the city, were standing around the perimeter of the clearing. Included among them, to Galadriel's very pleasant surprise, were all three of her grandchildren. There were balloons tied to all the trees surrounding the clearing, making it more colorful, albeit in an artificial way, than it ever was, even in the loveliest spring.

            Stretching diagonally across the circular space were two large rectangular tables. One was laden with food, all of which looked very appetizing if slightly unhealthy. The other was covered in brightly-wrapped presents. And between the two, resting on the ground, was a huge cake, taller than she was and at least as wide as a cave troll, with enough volume to provide dessert for the entire city for a week or so. Oddly, while the outside edge was alight with candles, the interior of the cake's top was devoid thereof.

            Celeborn's voice in her ear drew back her attention from the marvelously decorated baked good. "Happy Birthday, love of my life." Galadriel was more surprised. While Celeborn had never forgotten her birthday, he hadn't thrown a big party like this for her in... 500 years. Which meant she was... "Happy 7,500th, my dear."

            Her eyes went back to the cake. Had they made it that big just so they could put 7,500 candles on it? Linde looked at her with a twerpy grin that somehow looked very familiar. "We tried to put a candle on for every year, but by the time we got them all lit, the ones in the center had burned down to nothing." Linde's grin got even wider, and Galadriel wondered why her natural instinct was to give the girl a swipe upside the head instead of fixing her with the 'Elf Lady Death Stare.'

            Before she could contemplate it further, however, out of the corner of her eye she detected movement in the vicinity of the cake. No, make that movement _in_ the cake. She was trying to point that out to someone when Haldir burst out of the cake. In black leather. Galadriel, and most of the elf ladies in the vicinity, tried, and singularly failed, to stifle squeals of delight. Since the unfortunate incident with the boy wizard, his hair had grown back more spectacular than before. But, beautiful as it was, it was not his head that drew Galadriel's attention. The black leather really, really, really made his butt look good. Really good. And, come to that, his legs, and his chest, and his surprisingly muscular biceps also looked quite nice. But his ass... Galadriel was trying to decide if she had ever seen anything looking quite so good when Celeborn grabbed her tightly around the waist. She looked up, taken off guard by his sudden movement and the look of barely disguised disgust on his face. All he could do was shake his head.

            After surviving that very pleasant shock, the party could have been a complete wash and Galadriel would not have cared, but in fact she enjoyed herself more than she had in several centuries. The food was excellent, the company delightful, and the gifts too numerous and wonderful to mention. 

It wasn't until very late that night (or very early the next morning, if one prefers to look at it that way) that Galadriel remembered why she had been so miserable that morning. Everyone had retreated to their own beds, and she and Celeborn were standing outside their chambers, both apparently anticipating a night of other nocturnal activities, when it occurred to her. "Did you really think you could distract me from your misdeeds by throwing me a party?" When he looked at her blankly, she took a deep breath and stated the obvious: "Do you deny that you and Linde have been having an affair?"

            He stared at her, then burst into laughter. "What? This isn't funny. We've taken our fidelity very seriously for..." Celeborn cut her off. "If you knew what you had just implied, you would be really cringing now." Without further comment, he pulled her into the room.

            Seated within were the twins, Arwen, and, to Galadriel's dismay, Linde. How could that stupid husband of hers let that woman into her room when she was about to forgive him because of all he had done for the party. Especially persuading Haldir to wear those pants...

            "Are we alone?" Celeborn asked. Elrohir nodded. "Okay," her husband continued, addressing Linde, "you can reveal yourself, my child." "What the..." Galadriel thought. "He has no child... unless he's had an affair before..." She opened her mouth to yell at him again, forgetting that her grandchildren were present, when she saw what Linde was doing.

            The girl was waving her hands in front of her face, and the features that had been etched in Galadriel's painful nightmares this past week dissolved into other features from Galadriel's nightmares. But those dreams were painful for a different reason...

            "Celebrian?" Galadriel asked in a voice barely exceeding a whisper. It couldn't be. It was impossible.

            But apparently it wasn't. "Oh, mom. I'm so sorry I deceived you," Lin... no, Celebrian uttered before practically leaping across the room to embrace her mother.

            The room was quiet for several minutes but for the happy sobbing. When they finally pulled apart, each of Elrond's children came in turn and hugged both mother and grandmother. Galadriel was surprised that all three seemed to hold her longer than they had their own mother, gone for so many years. As they turned to leave, Galadriel inquired "Did you know?" "Yeah," Arwen responded before following her brothers out.

            Galadriel was still in a bit of shock. "But how?"

            Celebrian shook her head and yawned. "Celeborn will tell you. The party went far longer than we had planned, and I need to get some rest." Galadriel sighed. Her daughter had never been much of a night owl. "Happy birthday, mom," she said as she walked out.

            Galadriel looked questioningly at her husband. "Get in bed," he said. "I've literally not sat down all day, and you know it kills my knees to do that when I'm not in Non-Entity Mode."

            She nodded and obeyed. When they were comfortable, he continued. "I wanted to do something extraordinarily special for this birthday, since you had seemed a bit depressed the last century or so and this was, after all, your biggest milestone in 2,500 years. And I figured if Glorfindel can get out of Mandos indefinitely, surely I could get our daughter out for this. I had to bargain a bit with Manwe to do it, but I got her three months; she spent the first six weeks with her husband and then came down to us. Elrond was supposed to come down for the party, but Elladan said that something had come up that he needed to deal with personally, but he hoped to come south as soon as that was dealt with."

            She nodded. She hoped Elrond would be able to get here soon. It would be nice to have the whole family together again, even if only for a couple weeks. It had been so long... "So what bargain did you have to make with the Valar? I've been meaning to ask them a few things myself."

            Celeborn looked at her and gave a wan smile. "Well, apparently there are many reasons you are still in Middle-earth, some of which are self-imposed and some of which are concerns the Valar have about you returning to the west. One of the latter is that apparently Melian has been telling Manwe and anyone else who will listen about the amount of noise the two of us made during our delightful nights in Doriath and apparently he is concerned about the possibility that we will make similar amounts of auditory interference there. So, in exchange for compelling Mandos to release Celebrian, I promised him that, when the time came for us to leave Middle-earth, I would wait behind for a time instead of taking the same ship as you. Speaking of which, why did you say earlier that our time here was coming to a close?"

            "Just a feeling."

            "Damn. Because if I had known that you thought we would be leaving soon, I wouldn't have made that promise. I really don't want to be apart from you for long if I can help it. I really do love you and, if it's possible, I think I'm even more in love with you now than I was in Doriath."

            Galadriel shuddered. She was only just now coming to realize what she had been accusing her husband of: not just an affair he would never commit, but an incestuous affair at that. "I'm so sorry for thinking you were..." She trailed off, unable to complete the statement.

            Celeborn looked at her and just laughed. She stared at him in shock. How could he laugh about that? She had accused the love of her life of something unforgivable, and he was laughing about it. "I owe you an apology. After that one night, I had a pretty good idea what you were thinking about Linde and me, and I decided that it was better to let you retain that suspicion than tell you the truth. I just wanted to give you the biggest surprise of your life on your birthday."

            She sighed huffily and kissed him on the cheek. "Strange, stupid, sweet husband. How did I ever think that you would do such a thing?"

            "I'm sorry I ever even let the thought form. She came down earlier than I expected to help me plan the party, and I decided to be greedy and keep her to myself, since you'll see her again sooner than I and I didn't want to spoil the surprise for you."

            "She helped you plan the party?"

            "Oh, yeah. The balloons, all that food, the huge guest list... all her ideas. This wouldn't have been half the party without her."

            "And the cake?"

            "That was my idea from the beginning. That was to be the centerpiece."

            "Thank you so much for that," she breathed as she kissed him again.

            He laughed nervously. "Actually, we'd been considering having her jump from the cake, but she didn't want to reveal herself as Celebrian in front of everybody. Only our family and her closest friends know that she's returned, and she wanted to keep it that way. Haldir was my backup plan, but I certainly had _not_ expected his... attire. I shudder to think what your daughter must have done to persuade him to wear that."

            Galadriel nodded. And then her eyes twinkled mischievously as her lips met his. "I love you, Celeborn."

            "I love you so much, Galadriel. I love you so much," he whispered as he deepened the kiss. Several minutes of intimate silence followed.

            "Celeborn?"

            "Hmm?"

            "Do me a favor. When things are back to... normal again, why don't _you_ wear black leather for me? Because," she continued, sounding more eager now, "I bet your ass would look even better than his."

            He sighed and rolled on top of her. The things he did for love...

(More Author's Notes: First, the usual disclaimers. Galadriel, Celeborn, Haldir, Celebrian, Elrond, his children, the Valar, the Dorwinion, and the setting- I think that covers everything- all belong to Tolkien. The concept of elves in black leather comes from Camilla Sandman's _OFUM_. This fic is the convergence of about four independent concepts. I wanted to do a pseudo-serious Lorien fic just to prove I could do so- specifically I wanted to explain why Celeborn had stayed behind- and I wanted to do a holiday fic to diversify my offerings. The latter became a viable concept after reading Mouse's _Real Men Wear Jewelry_, which suggests that Galadriel saw Celeborn being unfaithful in the mirror. The general premise of the husband planning a surprise birthday party and the wife thinking him adulterous comes from an episode of the hilarious British comedy _As Time Goes By_. The presence of Celebrian was actually a very late addition to the storyline and was inadvertently suggested by Insomniac Luddite's excellent _Tralalalally_. Many thanks also to TreeHugger, who graciously agreed to beta this for me and provided several useful suggestions for strengthening Galadriel's character.

Having gotten those disclaimers out of the way, I wish all of you a happy St. Valentine's Day. May the women find as much happiness with their men as they would with their lust objects, and may the men find women who, though they may or may not exceed Arwen's beauty, have more intelligence and better balanced personalities.)


End file.
